Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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