So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Randomize
