I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
