dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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