when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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