The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
