OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
