It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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