i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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