I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
