A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.