Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie