what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.