Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists