I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow