sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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