I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
