I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
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