if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there