Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed