We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
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He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
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You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.