Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.