I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning