I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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