I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize