Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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