She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
