this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
