wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
