I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize