Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
