i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
