I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
