new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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