THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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