so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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