if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
