WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Randomize
