The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
