but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I can't put those talents on a resume
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
