Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
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