so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the jesus of drinking
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I am naked and annoyed.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize