dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
