So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
