look no pants
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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