Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
