I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
