physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
