I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
