did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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