He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
