he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Randomize
