Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
