You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
