This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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