Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
