i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
