is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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