If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
