drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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