you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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