By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
