You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
