how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
