I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
