We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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