I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize