I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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