Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
