it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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