quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
