I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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